 | Ascertain that the professional you want to see has actually had training in marital counselling. Many psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors have no formal education or training in marital therapy. |
| Choose an experienced marital therapist if possible (as opposed to one who is just starting out. Keep in mind that some middle-aged therapists have only recently trained as therapists find out how long the professional has worked in the field.) |
| Choose a therapist who regularly sees couples for counselling as opposed to one whose practice is focused mostly on individual, child or adolescent counselling. |
| Choose a therapist whose philosophy of marital counselling is aligned with your own (Check their web site information and/or talk with them before making an appointment. Find out how they view separation and divorce and ask about anything else that is important to you.) |
| If possible, choose a therapist who is married and has been for at least a couple of decades! (The best marital therapist for you may be someone other than a long-married therapist this is definitely not the only criteria for a marital counsellor! However, someone who has negotiated the difficulties you yourself are facing may have additional insight and understanding that can be valuable.) |
| Keep in mind that there may be some discomfort during some sessions of marital therapy it is not the easies kind of work to do. Also, progress is gradual and contains intermittent slips back to the old way. Yet, over the course of a few months, you should be able to experience significance reduction of marital conflict or stress and the beginnings of a more positive and intimate relationship. |
| Sometimes it is necessary to meet with several different marital therapists before finding the one who fits your philosophy and style. Be patient. It is worth the wait. |
| If your therapist gives you homework to do between sessions do it! |
| Ultimately, its not marital therapy that will make your marriage work; it is YOU. Come to therapy to learn how to be the best marital partner you can be. Then watch the results. |
